There is pretty much no consistent theme to this page. One entry will be very serious, the next will be very trivial. It's just a rough public version of my general journal entries too small to have their own page. Also just some insights I hear and comprehend for myself too. Finally, due to the nature of this page, the older something is the longer ago it was and the more distant and younger of a person I was too.

October 2023

- The reason why the modern internet can’t truly replicate the soul the older days had is because the internet has become poisoned with irony, and because it’s poisoned with irony, people are afraid of being authentic and genuine nowadays, afraid of being looked down upon by bullies who may or may not also be afraid of being looked down upon by other bullies and the cycle of abuse goes on. That’s the thing about older things, and why people seem to be gravitating towards them. Older games, older videos, so on so forth aren’t perfect. Far from it. But a lot of older things were authentic, made by people who truly enjoyed what they were creating, enjoyed by people who truly enjoyed what they were playing or watching or whatever. No obligations whatsoever, a lot of creators just made things because it was fun; it wasn’t a job or a tool for clout. Creators were both INNOCENT yet SHAMELESS in the things they created. Maybe some newer things are authentic too; it’s hard to tell because every single one of them feels obligated to put on this “ironic” tint to it, maybe because they’re afraid of being deemed as “cringe” just for being authentic, so if they’re purposefully cringe no one will call them cringe because then they can just be like “but that’s the whoooooole point lmfao”. It’s as if a lot of people are secretly ashamed of the things they enjoy, maybe because they let critical-minded people who over-analyse every little detail or bullies who shame people for the mere crime of enjoying something so “uncultured” in their eyes, get to their heads.

February 2024

- (In response to Biden's Tweet, "Let us reflect on how we make history – not erase history.") I agree. Let's start with the most important topic, the genocide of Palestinians in Gaza, and your participation in it. The Hamas are not the reason Israel is in Gaza, as evident by how the IDF is entering each sector of the Gaza Strip and thoroughly wiping civilization out there, and yet they withdraw while the Hamas are still in full action. The Hamas are the excuse, not Israel's reason. When the Hamas took hostages, they proposed to Israel that said hostages would be harmed, ONLY should Israel bomb Gaza. Only hours into the conflict, Israel started doing exactly that, with no regard either for the hostages in the hands of the Hamas, or the civilians in Gaza. More importantly, said hostages would later be released by the Hamas not only unharmed, but even seeing them favourably. Many, many images and videos exist all around the internet, showing IDF soldiers smiling, cheering, and dancing in glee as they commit their atrocities, blowing up the homes of innocent Palestinians, and partying upon the ashes of Gaza. Despite the clear evidence all over the internet of these atrocities, we still have people saying "we need to be nuanced and accept that both sides are equally bad" in the face of a genocide. Despite the clear evidence, we also have America backing Israel to the end. When the situation in Gaza Strip started to escalate, the Houthis were the first to publicly declare war on Israel, by preventing any ships intended for them from entering the Red Sea, and stating that they will 'only' stop when Israel's genocide in Gaza stops. Even months into the conflict, as it became pretty obvious to many how bad Israel was, Biden still gave his dedicated support towards Israel. Not even the proposition of a "ceasefire" that his more progressive voter base was begging for. USA from the very beginning started to supply Israel, just as they supplied Ukraine, and give Israel their fullest support in the UN. Months later, they would begin to bomb Yemen, and outright boycott the UN in Israel's name, after the ICJ. As we stand now, instead of pushing for Israel to stop its genocide, it continues to wage and fight wars on Israel's behalf, all across the middle east. Many of our top politicians are calling for a war with Iran, many of the USA's ardent supporters cheer on the US bombings. From the beginning of the conflict, there has been an episode of mass psychosis from many conservative influencers, as well as many top politicians. Even the people who said they stood for "free speech" cheered as people supporting Palestine were losing their jobs. People exercise their first amendment rights, and they lose their jobs and suffer many other devastating consequences, and even the so-called "free speech" crowd is fine with this, because it "owns the libs" who have supported the same before. And Biden, whose party is NOT known as the Zionist supreme party that everyone knows Republicans as (they're both the same but perceptions are different), folds and supports Israel in the face of their unforgiveable genocide. Therefore, he alienated his progressive and leftist voter base to support genocide, and in the end he is left with nobody, except for the elites and the tribalistic delusionals. But just as right wing populism is the only reason the GOP is relevant among the youth, progressivism is the only reason anyone who isn't a tribalistic delusional or elitist would support the DNC. And Biden, representative of the DNC, threw away those principles for Israel.

April 2024

- "Society would be so dumb if it wasn't for school" is what helped perpetrate this anti-intellectual "blindly trust the authorities for the sake of convenience" culture that plagues us today. Self education, mutual trust, and 'real' community are the real keys to life. People who don't have even slight empathy for how miserable kids are today make me sick, and they have the gall to complain when kids act unruly or unempathetic to them. Those people are, in a general level, everything wrong with modern society. It would be funny if not so sad how pathetic apologists for modern day society are, to ignore how much more miserable and unmotivated kids are today or just laugh it off.

- The problem with our "education system" is that it discourages thinking for yourself. You get rewarded only for parroting what "academic" views you are given the permission to say or believe in. This is where the whole "trust da SOYANCE" thing and the likes comes from. Being "wrong" is treated like it's the most horrible thing ever and you should be ashamed, even though no one is perfect and no one just 'knows' everything for sure. In reality, the truly smartest people aren't afraid to be wrong, and that's 'why' they're ahead of the game. On a side note, this is also part of where the whole "muh media literacy" thing comes from too. I hate media literacy discussion because people don't have the nuance to understand why people enjoy things that may disagree with them here and there. Video game media literacy discussion is the worst because most gamers play video games for the gameplay, not for the story. We like a good story, but at the end of the day that's just a side quest and usually means nothing if the game isn't good.

- Everything you take for granted is a lie and this is entirely a feature and not a bug on the higher order's part. The school system and media are cancer but the truth and roots behind everything goes far deeper than that. American propaganda is the most effective and greatest propaganda in the world, precisely because it's controversial to say that Americans are propagandized on the level they project onto Russians, Chinese, etc. Even people who step a little bit outside the two party paradigm (progressives and surface alt-right) still fall for a lot of this propaganda and have their minds conquered by the USA's lies. The lies even extend to fronts people don't even realise, like science. Even a lot of legitimately smart people fall for some form or shape or American propaganda in any of these fronts. A fair portion of the "dissident right" on one end, and a portion of the "anti-imperialist left" on the other, for example.

May 2024

- Growing up for me personally was realising how wrong what's "normal" in society really is, and how the truth they tried to hide was hidden right in plain sight the whole time. I actually first realised this when I was a child, but eventually went through a lot of doubts and darkness as a teenager, likely out of a desire to be left alone. In the end, I cycled right back. I received a lot of premonitions in 2021. Countless premonitions trying to steer me back to the truth. It may have taken a while before I truly understood what they meant, but I've never been happier when I did.

- 2020 really was the end of the world as we had known before. This whole decade will be summed up as a desperate last attempt to preserve a world that's fate is sealed. Not because it's a good world, but just because.

July 2025

- One of the biggest advantages the west has over people’s minds is that its broken people’s ability and drive to think of a “better” on the account of a better being “unrealistic”. It’s kind of like that one scene from the Truman Show in which a young Truman desires to be an explorer only for his teacher to pull out the world map and say “There’s nothing left to explore,” to discourage him from being an explorer, but on a much wider scale, in which when you bring up that the current system is not that great, many people will retort that it’s “the best system we have” and that any and every single attempt to change it has failed without putting any deep consideration into why it failed or looking beyond the pop-historical lens to realise that maybe they didn’t all fail, at least not until outside intervention came to be. The end result is a constant cycle of “lesser evil” voting, more desperate than the last as more people wake up and the decay becomes more obvious.

- Even before 2020 when things became outright hopeless, I already saw the pointlessness of the system from miles away. Even if I get to the top of the rat race, then what? "You gotta vote, you gotta do this, you gotta do that! Don't you wanna save this country from collapse/fachism?" What is there in regards to this nation/system worth saving and fighting for? What freedom, "tradition", or "culture" does this country even have left? I never grew up in the oh-so 90s or 50s that older people like to brag so much about and pretend like America is still almost 'just like' but needs to be "swung back" a little. My America growing up was decay, warfare, angst, and void. Even in my youth every single "plan" I had for growing up involved going somewhere more isolated or leaving this country for another, only to find to my horror that there is no material escape from this hell, and that any attempt to create one will be ridiculed and crushed. Then on top of all of that, the same kinds of people who gave me scorn for looking outside of this country and worrying about the well-being of people being crushed under 'our' thumbs go on about how I 'have' to vote, move to the cities and fight to 'take this country back'. But what is it they even want to take back? Our right to say some slurs in modern warfare lobbies again? Cheaper fast food? Cause clearly most of them are okay with this hell as long as they're left with the illusion that they're unbothered again or whatever. What IS the point of "success" as society defines it in 'this' system that's designed to crush people's aspirations for greatness? Wealthier passive consumption? Subjecting our children to the same decaying hellscape?

- Liberal detractors of Trump and his era of Republicans will often point to old-school Republicans as to what the “better” was, but honestly it just comes off as some “resurrecting former villains against new villains” type of filth. Old-school Republicans are warmongering Evangelicals who worship Israel and its planned “third temple” more than they actually worship Jesus, hoping to speedrun the Book of Revelation so they’ll be “raptured” (a heresy) and won’t have to face the reality of mortality. I think a lot of Liberals only really support them because they aren’t disruptive like modern-style Republicans are, which honestly says a lot about the whole system at large.

- Evolution, at least in the Darwinist/gradualist context, is nonsense to me for the same reason Atheism is. It assumes that the human brain could have uniquely perfectly come to be in a way that no other animals could, completely by pure chance, just as Atheism assumes the whole universe, the whole Solar System, the whole Earth, and all that perfectly aligns could have just happened with a big bang coincidentally forming it all that way. Aliens are ironically slightly closer to the truth.

- I believe the purpose of teaching is to guide those who are actively searching for the truth, or lay seeds for those who have the potential to seek the truth in due time. Other than that, most people aren’t going to appreciate the truth no matter how much you do to prove it. A lot of people don’t even have an inner monologue; they don’t think at all (there is actual evidence of this out there if you think I’m just throwing that out). They see only with their eyes, and hear only with their ears, not their brains. I believe that this is to a degree what Jesus explained in Matthew 13:11-17, as to why he spoke in parables (though why he spoke in parables does go deeper than that too). Once you understand what it means that many people don’t have an inner monologue, and many of those who do try to actively suppress it (“It’s not good to be alone with your thoughts” kind of mindset and all), it starts to make a lot of sense as to why a lot of people can’t grasp concepts that otherwise seem so simple. All kinds of ancient religions and philosophies have their own concepts for these kinds of people in comparison to others. The Gnostics called them hylics, Plato had his theory about “bronze souls, silver souls, and golden souls”, and today people call them NPCs.

- The difference between anime and western cartoons for much of their respective histories is that many western cartoons are driven by a desire for originality, though often this desire turns into a fetish and as a result it comes at the detriment of beauty and all other things good which is why western cartoons have become increasingly ugly and subversive with each generation. Anime learns from each other, or learns from the legends, stories, and mythos of the past, and tries to imitate with the intent of perfecting what was started, and that’s why a lot of anime looks very beautiful, tells great and iconic stories, etc. Obviously, not ‘all’ western cartoons or anime are built around the philosophy I described, but the popularity of anime in comparison to western cartoons says a lot. In the 90s-2000s, Dragon Ball Z was not competing with other western cartoons, it was competing with the Super Bowl. To compare it with western cartoons would honestly be an insult to the medium.

- Boomers and Gen X who have to brag about how hard they had it, “Oh, you Zoomers got it so easy, we drank from the HOSE and had to walk on rocks BAREFOOT,” come off as babies to me. Their “struggles” they like to brag about are nothing but vanities. My generation will drink from the hose or walk on rocks barefoot for ‘fun’. That’s why you got the other end saying we’re so “stupid” for doing those dumb Tiktok challenges.

- The best way to deal with ‘those’ Boomers, NPCs, and other abhorrent types is just to ping-pong their own callousness back at them, give them a little thumbs up, walk away, and stop trying to justify yourself to them in the first place. Whatever you try to “prove” to them is only going to roll right off of their smooth brains, and whatever you do to try to impress them isn’t ever going to be enough in a similar vein to scammers who will never stop until they suck their victim’s wallet dry. Don’t worry about impressing decaying husks who have already chosen death. Let them swim in their own filth that they like so much while you shatter the boundary of reality and fantasy and bring your visions to life.

- I kind of wish I could have a second chance with this decade. I’m not sure how much different things would be, but I feel like I’ve missed a lot of opportunities due to the fact that I was a greater pushover earlier this decade. On one hand, having to relive a lot from 2020-2022 would be hellish for me, but on the other hand I do think I’ve developed the kind of spiritual strength and resolve that would make much of my worst experiences easier to brave. Then from there it’s just making a few moves and speaking up earlier and I think everything would have clicked together a lot better. All that being said, I’m not gonna dwell and lament too much on the past. I have great things going for me now, and I believe the destination will be the same regardless. Just think making certain things click would make the journey a little more fun, you know, like playing a video game a second time and knowing better what to do after a disaster of a first blind run.

- A lot of “Second American Civil War” fantasies people write online are written with an assumption that the whole military will be on their side, and I really do think it’s because their civil war fantasies are just a veil for what they really desire; the military massacring their political enemies while they just sit at home and watch it like it’s a sports game or get an excuse to vacation in Mexico or Canada for a couple of months, without once having to lift a finger for the country/establishment they cherish so much. So how about a “Second American Civil War” story idea that takes place in the point of view of the rebels, who are actually the victims of a false flag meant to justify orders for the military to crack down on people’s rights while some of their friends and even their own families are turned against them due to the media’s role in this false flag?

- When Leo's heart aligns with the star during Equinox, the sickle will reap and the harvest will begin.

- The fact that I see people almost every single day who either consider Christianity an “extension” or “branch” of Judaism, reduce it to nothing but another political ideology or philosophy, or just misunderstand it in so many ways that even my first reading of the Gospels didn’t lead me to their conclusions really does further cement the advice that you can’t really trust man’s or institutional wisdom on Christianity that well and how important actually reading the Bible on your own to understand it really is, and further more how people who tell you that you can’t trust your own judgement (provided you actually read/study it of course) are usually snakes. Jesus wants to speak with you, directly. Every single word he has spoken is not only spoken for the people around him to hear, it’s spoken for you to hear too.

- “Testing” people, in the context of trying to tempt them or laying things out for them to be tempted by, with the deliberate attempt for them to give in to the temptations so you can punish or disown them, is in fact wrong and deceptive. As wrong and deceptive as abusing somebody just to make them “stronger”, which only certainly turns their heart callous and leads both them and you to damnation.

August 2025

- Anonymity on the internet serves two purposes. To protect yourself from other people, which I think everybody already knows to varying degrees. And to protect other people from yourself. In regards to the latter, I’m starting to think a lot of parasocial internet behaviour comes from the desensitisation to many people’s lack of anonymity on the internet. I'll think about it, then maybe I'll write something bigger on it one day. No promises on the latter though.

- It’s very clear to me that there is more national pride in most of the Eastern Bloc and the post-Soviet sphere than there is in the Liberal/Capitalist west, and I think it’s easy to see why. Communism came to the Eastern Bloc like a flash of lightning, and was initially resisted a lot harder than Liberalism was. Over the Cold War, which was very brief when you really compare it with history in its entirety (the current post-Cold War era is 33 years old as of writing this, the Cold War was about 45 years old give or take depending on your definition as to when it started), it was never actually able to become a part of the Eastern European’s roots, and obviously they were never able to embrace Liberalism during most of the Cold War either, so the disdain for Communism they had for much of the Cold War without Liberalism seeping in caused them to simply hold onto their own core mostly conservative values pre-Cold War instead. Liberalism, on the other hand, actually took root over the west, because most of the west already embraced enlightenment values for centuries prior to the Cold War—Nationalism/Fascism in the west was just a mere disruption (Italy 21 years, Germany 12 years, WW2 in Europe being 6 years), and most western monarchies were gradually withering away into Liberalism prior to the Cold War anyways. Liberalism, on the other hand, came into the west and has been seeping into the east like a subtle poison. Advertised as enlightenment and liberty, but once drank from causes irreversible damage and drives many into Satan’s darkness. Even its apologists know this—that’s why they just laugh about the bad things being done under its behalf like abusers would to downplay their abuse, and it’s why the only real defense and nostalgia they have for it involves higher quality escapism and materialism. They don’t even really have the liberty card anymore, that died in 2001 and was buried in 2020. So what happens when the entire world (even Russia, China, and Iran, the three nations people see as its biggest oppositions, have drank from the poisoned cup to some varying degrees) is poisoned by it? Well, I'll be honest—I could say, but I think most people won't believe me until they see for themselves. But societal collapse is what happens.

- P.s. Before anybody argues what I think will be argued, the west has been held together by Christian values all of these centuries, despite Liberal values and not because of them. Now that the more recent generations have shedded these Christian values, we see the fruits of Liberalism for what they really are on their own with the societal decay all around us.

- Worst-case-scenario prediction: Islamists funneled into Russia through NATO-Armenia-Azerbaijan, major conflict in the Caucasus, NATO spreads disorder around Russia through Islamists, separatists, and pro-western parties and uses it as a casus belli to invade. NATO doesn't need to invade far, purpose is simply landlocking Russia and blocking trade through their new Caucasian and Central Asian allies, bombing Russia, and funding/arming disorder. China backs Russia but more so takes advantage of its instability for their own purposes. "If NATO does x, Russia will unleash the nukes," "realpolitik" and "strategic patience" will be popular copes the whole time as red line after red line is crossed. Not to say this 'will' guaranteed happen, just that it's important to mentally prepare for the worst case scenarios.

- What my generation is really angry about isn't the economy on its own, but the treachery of the generations that had the responsibility to pave a better way but poisoned the soil instead. They'll say stuff like this ("I'm a Boomer and you sound like a brat!! Ya ever thought about working 2 jobs and not eating out and buying games for your gaming?? Buy a clunker car like we did and learn to work on it yourself! By the way, I have a 21 year old grandson who's buying a clunker truck and just bought a mobile home. Quit your griping and blaming Boomers!! Lower your standards!!"), but they wouldn't even slightly lower their standards of life for the sake of the younger generations given a choice. Yet we're expected to lower every single one of our standards so they can live like kings. Obviously Boomers aren't 'the' enemy though, only useful idiots and a symptom of the greater problem. But in devouring the futures of the youth for temporary earthly paradise, they have given up real eternal paradise, save for their repentance.

- A lot of internet "life advice" is just generic self-help book advice rebranded with manlier and Christian aesthetics. Said self-help book advice can all be summed up the same way too: To blame every single hardship on yourself, even when it's out of your control. The other problem is it tells people to live their lives on a script like some kind of NPC. "Wake up at 5am, drink five glasses of water, do 50 weight reps, throw away all of your leisure until exactly 6pm (never proceeds to elaborate on what is and isn't productive)" I used to think it was a "Why can't everybody be just like ME?" mindset but considering that the majority of people on the internet are fake it's more like "Why can't everybody be just like the idealised version of ME?" I used to read into a lot of that self-help crap growing up. You're not fooling me. A lot of our problems are out of our control, but just because it's out of our control doesn't mean that it isn't hurting us. The whole point of self-help cults proper is obviously grifting off of troubled people, and then laughing at them when their own advice creates the downward spiral of people who listen to them when their "script" is disrupted by problems out of their control.